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Act 4 scene 1

  Act IV  Scene I PETRUCHIO'S country house  
  [Enter GRUMIO]  
GRUMIO






 Fie, fie on all tired jades, on all mad masters,
and all foul ways! Was ever man so beaten? was
ever man so rayed? was ever man so weary? I am
sent before to make a fire, and they are coming
after to warm them. Now, were not I a little pot and
soon hot, my very lips might freeze to my teeth, my
tongue to the roof of my mouth, my heart in my
belly, ere I should come by a fire to thaw me: but I,
with blowing the fire, shall warm myself; for, con-
sidering the weather, a taller man than I will take
cold. Holla, ho! Curtis.



5




10
  [Enter CURTIS]  
CURTIS Who is that calls so coldly?  
GRUMIO A piece of ice: if thou doubt it, thou mayst
slide from my shoulder to my heel with no greater
a run but my head and my neck. A fire good Curtis.

15
CURTIS Is my master and his wife coming, Grumio?  
GRUMIO O, ay, Curtis, ay: and therefore fire, fire; cast
on no water.		  
CURTIS Is she so hot a shrew as she's reported?  
GRUMIO She was, good Curtis, before this frost: but,
thou knowest, winter tames man, woman and
beast; for it hath tamed my old master and my new
mistress and myself, fellow Curtis.		 20
CURTIS Away, you three-inch fool! I am no beast.  
GRUMIO Am I but three inches? why, thy horn is a
foot; and so long am I at the least. But wilt thou
make a fire, or shall I complain on thee to our
mistress, whose hand, she being now at hand, thou
shalt soon feel, to thy cold comfort, for being slow in
thy hot office?		 25




30
CURTIS I prithee, good Grumio, tell me, how goes the
world?		  
GRUMIO A cold world, Curtis, in every office but thine; and
therefore fire: do thy duty, and have thy duty;
for my master and mistress are almost frozen to
death.

35
CURTIS There's fire ready; and therefore, good Grum-
io, the news.		  
GRUMIO Why, 'Jack, boy! ho! boy!' and as much news
as will thaw.
40
CURTIS Come, you are so full of cony-catching!  
GRUMIO


 Why, therefore fire; for I have caught extreme
cold. Where's the cook? is supper ready, the house
trimmed, rushes strewed, cobwebs swept; the serv-
ing-men in their new fustian, their white stock-
ings, and every officer his wedding-garment on? Be
the jacks fair within, the jills fair without, the
carpets laid, and every thing in order?


45
CURTIS All ready; and therefore, I pray thee, news.  
GRUMIO First, know, my horse is tired; my master and
mistress fallen out.		 50
CURTIS How?  
GRUMIO Out of their saddles into the dirt; and thereby
hangs a tale.		  
CURTIS Let's ha't, good Grumio. 55
GRUMIO Lend thine ear.  
CURTIS Here.  
GRUMIO There.  
  [Strikes him]  
CURTIS This is to feel a tale, not to hear a tale.  
GRUMIO And therefore 'tis called a sensible tale: and
this cuff was but to knock at your ear, and beseech
listening. Now I begin: Imprimis, we came down a
foul hill, my master riding behind my mistress,--		 60
CURTIS Both of one horse?  
GRUMIO What's that to thee? 65
CURTIS Why, a horse.  
GRUMIO







 Tell thou the tale: but hadst thou not crossed
me, thou shouldst have heard how her horse fell
and she under her horse; thou shouldst have heard
in how miry a place, how she was bemoiled, how he
left her with the horse upon her, how he beat me
because her horse stumbled, how she waded
through the dirt to pluck him off me, how he swore,
how she prayed, that never prayed before, how I
cried, how the horses ran away, how her bridle was
burst, how I lost my crupper, with many things of
worthy memory, which now shall die in oblivion
and thou return unexperienced to thy grave.


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CURTIS By this reckoning he is more shrew than she.  
GRUMIO




 Ay; and that thou and the proudest of you all
shall find when he comes home. But what talk I of
this? Call forth Nathaniel, Joseph, Nicholas, Phil-
ip, Walter, Sugarsop and the rest: let their heads
be sleekly combed their blue coats brushed and
their garters of an indifferent knit: let them curtsy
with their left legs and not presume to touch a hair
of my master's horse-tail till they kiss their hands.
Are they all ready?		 80




85
CURTIS They are.  
GRUMIO Call them forth. 90
CURTIS Do you hear, ho? you must meet
my master to countenance my mistress.		  
GRUMIO Why, she hath a face of her own.  
CURTIS Who knows not that?  
GRUMIO Thou, it seems, that calls for company to
countenance her.		 95
CURTIS I call them forth to credit her.  
GRUMIO Why, she comes to borrow nothing of them.  
  [Enter four or five Serving-men]  
NATHANIEL Welcome home, Grumio!  
PHILIP How now, Grumio! 100
JOSEPH What, Grumio!  
NICHOLAS Fellow Grumio!  
NATHANIEL How now, old lad?  
GRUMIO Welcome, you;--how now, you;-- what,
you;--fellow, you;--and thus much for greeting.
Now, my spruce companions, is all ready, and all
things neat?
105
NATHANIEL All things is ready. How near is our mas-
ter?		  
GRUMIO E'en at hand, alighted by this; and therefore
be not--Cock's passion, silence! I hear my master.		 110
  [Enter PETRUCHIO and KATHARINA]  
PETRUCHIO Where be these knaves? What, no man at door
To hold my stirrup nor to take my horse!
Where is Nathaniel, Gregory, Philip?		  
ALL SERVING-MEN Here, here, sir; here, sir. 115
PETRUCHIO Here, sir! here, sir! here, sir! here, sir!
You logger-headed and unpolish'd grooms!
What, no attendance? no regard? no duty?
Where is the foolish knave I sent before?		  
GRUMIO Here, sir; as foolish as I was before. 120
PETRUCHIO You peasant swain! you whoreson malt-horse
drudge!
Did I not bid thee meet me in the park,
And bring along these rascal knaves with thee?		  
GRUMIO


 Nathaniel's coat, sir, was not fully made,
And Gabriel's pumps were all unpink'd i' the heel;
There was no link to colour Peter's hat,
And Walter's dagger was not come from sheathing:
There were none fine but Adam, Ralph, and Gregory;
The rest were ragged, old, and beggarly;
Yet, as they are, here are they come to meet you.		 125




130
PETRUCHIO Go, rascals, go, and fetch my supper in.  
  [Exeunt Servants]  
  [Singing]  
  Where is the life that late I led--
Where are those--
Sit down, Kate, and welcome.--
Sound, sound, sound, sound!

135
  [Re-enter Servants with supper]  
  Why, when, I say? Nay, good sweet Kate, be
merry.
Off with my boots, you rogues! you villains, when?		  
  [Sings]  
  It was the friar of orders grey,
As he forth walked on his way:--
Out, you rogue! you pluck my foot awry:
Take that,
and mend the plucking off the other.		 140
  [Strikes him]  
  Be merry, Kate. Some water, here; what, ho!
Where's my spaniel Troilus? Sirrah, get you hence,
And bid my cousin Ferdinand come hither:
One, Kate, that you must kiss, and be acquainted
with.
Where are my slippers? Shall I have some water?		 145




150
  [Enter one with water]  
  Come, Kate, and wash, and welcome heartily.
You whoreson villain! will you let it fall?		  
  [Strikes him]  
KATHARINA Patience, I pray you; 'twas a fault unwilling.  
PETRUCHIO A whoreson beetle-headed, flap-ear'd knave!
Come, Kate, sit down; I know you have a stomach.
Will you give thanks, sweet Kate; or else shall I?
What's this? mutton?
155
First Servant Ay.  
PETRUCHIO Who brought it?  
PETER I. 160
PETRUCHIO 'Tis burnt; and so is all the meat.
What dogs are these! Where is the rascal cook?
How durst you, villains, bring it from the dresser,
And serve it thus to me that love it not?
Theretake it to you, trenchers, cups, and all;



165
  [Throws the meat, &c. about the stage]  
  You heedless joltheads and unmanner'd slaves!
What, do you grumble? I'll be with you straight.		  
KATHARINA I pray you, husband, be not so disquiet:
The meat was well, if you were so contented.		  
PETRUCHIO




 I tell thee, Kate, 'twas burnt and dried away;
And I expressly am forbid to touch it,
For it engenders choler, planteth anger;
And better 'twere that both of us did fast,
Since, of ourselves, ourselves are choleric,
Than feed it with such over-roasted flesh.
Be patient; to-morrow 't shall be mended,
And, for this night, we'll fast for company:
Come, I will bring thee to thy bridal chamber.		 170




175
  [Exeunt]  
  [Re-enter Servants severally]  
NATHANIEL Peter, didst ever see the like?  
PETER He kills her in her own humour. 180
  [Re-enter CURTIS]  
GRUMIO Where is he?  
CURTIS In her chamber,
making a sermon of continency to her;
And rails, and swears, and rates, that she, poor soul,
Knows not which way to stand, to look, to speak,
And sits as one new-risen from a dream.
Away, away! for he is coming hither.


185
  [Exeunt]  
  [Re-enter PETRUCHIO]  
PETRUCHIO



















 Thus have I politicly begun my reign,
And 'tis my hope to end successfully.
My falcon now is sharp and passing empty;
And till she stoop she must not be full-gorged,
For then she never looks upon her lure.
Another way I have to man my haggard,
To make her come and know her keeper's call,
That is, to watch her, as we watch these kites
That bate and beat and will not be obedient.
She eat no meat to-day, nor none shall eat;
Last night she slept not, nor to-night she shall not;
As with the meat, some undeserved fault
I'll find about the making of the bed;
And here I'll fling the pillow, there the bolster,
This way the coverlet, another way the sheets:
Ay, and amid this hurly I intend
That all is done in reverend care of her;
And in conclusion she shall watch all night:
And if she chance to nod I'll rail and brawl
And with the clamour keep her still awake.
This is a way to kill a wife with kindness;
And thus I'll curb her mad and headstrong humour.
He that knows better how to tame a shrew,
Now let him speak: 'tis charity to show.

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  [Exit]