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Introduction to this scene.     Staging.      Criticism.

Act 3 Scene 4 text

  Act III  Scene IV OLIVIA's garden.  
  [Enter OLIVIA and MARIA]  
OLIVIA I have sent after him: he says he'll come;
How shall I feast him? what bestow of him?
For youth is bought more oft than begg'd or
borrow'd.
I speak too loud.
Where is Malvolio? he is sad and civil,
And suits well for a servant with my fortunes:
Where is Malvolio?



5
MARIA He's coming, madam; but in very strange man-
ner. He is, sure, possessed, madam.
10
OLIVIA Why, what's the matter? does he rave?  
MARIA No. madam, he does nothing but smile: your
ladyship were best to have some guard about you, if
he come; for, sure, the man is tainted in's wits.		  
OLIVIA Go call him hither. [Exit MARIA] I am as mad as he,
If sad and merry madness equal be.		 15
  [Re-enter MARIA, with MALVOLIO]  
  How now, Malvolio!  
MALVOLIO Sweet lady, ho, ho.  
OLIVIA Smilest thou? I sent for thee upon a sad
occasion.
20
MALVOLIO Sad, lady! I could be sad: this does make
some obstruction in the blood, this cross-garter-
ing; but what of that? if it please the eye of one, it is
with me as the very true sonnet is, 'Please one, and
please all.'



25
OLIVIA Why, how dost thou, man? what is the matter
with thee?		  
MALVOLIO Not black in my mind, though yellow in my
legs. It did come to his hands, and commands shall
be executed: I think we do know the sweet Roman
hand.

30
OLIVIA Wilt thou go to bed, Malvolio?  
MALVOLIO To bed! ay, sweet-heart, and I'll come to
thee.		  
OLIVIA God comfort thee! Why dost thou smile so and
kiss thy hand so oft?		 35
MARIA How do you, Malvolio?  
MALVOLIO At your request! yes; nightingales answer
daws.		  
MARIA Why appear you with this ridiculous boldness
before my lady?		 40
MALVOLIO 'Be not afraid of greatness:' 'twas well
writ.		  
OLIVIA What meanest thou by that, Malvolio?  
MALVOLIO 'Some are born great,'-- 45
OLIVIA Ha!  
MALVOLIO 'Some achieve greatness,'--  
OLIVIA What sayest thou?  
MALVOLIO 'And some have greatness thrust upon
them.'
50
OLIVIA Heaven restore thee!  
MALVOLIO 'Remember who commended thy yellow
stockings,'--		  
OLIVIA Thy yellow stockings!  
MALVOLIO 'And wished to see thee cross-gartered.' 55
OLIVIA Cross-gartered!  
MALVOLIO 'Go to thou art made, if thou desirest to be
so;'--		  
OLIVIA Am I made?  
MALVOLIO 'If not, let me see thee a servant still.' 60
OLIVIA Why, this is very midsummer madness.  
  [Enter Servant]  
Servant Madam, the young gentleman of the Count
Orsino's is returned: I could hardly entreat him
back: he attends your ladyship's pleasure.		  
OLIVIA I'll come to him. [Exit Servant] Good Maria, let
this fellow be looked to. Where's my cousin Toby?
Let some of my people have a special care of him: I
would not have him miscarry for the half of my
dowry.		 65
  [Exeunt OLIVIA and MARIA]  
MALVOLIO















 O, ho! do you come near me now? no worse
man than Sir Toby to look to me! This concurs
directly with the letter: she sends him on purpose,
that I may appear stubborn to him; for she incites
me to that in the letter. 'Cast thy humble slough,'
says she; 'be opposite with a kinsman, surly with
servants; let thy tongue tang with arguments of
state; put thyself into the trick of singularity;' and
consequently sets down the manner how; as, a sad
face, a reverend carriage, a slow tongue, in the habit
of some sir of note, and so forth. I have limed her;
but it is Jove's doing, and Jove make me thankful!
And when she went away now, 'Let this fellow be
looked to:' fellow! not Malvolio, nor after my
degree, but fellow. Why, every thing adheres to-
gether, that no dram of a scruple, no scruple of a
scruple, no obstacle, no incredulous or unsafe
circumstance--What can be said? Nothing that can
be can come between me and the full prospect of
my hopes. Well, Jove, not I, is the doer of this, and
he is to be thanked.		 70




75




80




85




90
  [Re-enter MARIA, with SIR TOBY BELCH and FABIAN]  
SIR TOBY BELCH Which way is he, in the name of sanctity? If all
the devils of hell be drawn in little, and Legion
himself possessed him, yet I'll speak to him.		  
FABIAN Here he is, here he is. How is't with you, sir?
how is't with you, man?
95
MALVOLIO Go off; I discard you: let me enjoy my
private: go off.		  
MARIA Lo, how hollow the fiend speaks
within him! did not I tell you? Sir Toby, my lady
prays you to have a care of him.

100
MALVOLIO Ah, ha! does she so?  
SIR TOBY BELCH Go to, go to; peace, peace;
we must deal gently with him: let me alone. How
do you, Malvolio? how is't with you? What, man!
defy the devil: consider, he's an enemy to mankind.


105
MALVOLIO Do you know what you say?  
MARIA La you, an you speak ill of the devil,
how he takes it at heart! Pray God, he be not
bewitched!		  
FABIAN Carry his water to the wise woman. 110
MARIA Marry, and it shall be done to-morrow morning,
if I live. My lady would not lose him for more than
I'll say.		  
MALVOLIO How now, mistress!  
MARIA O Lord! 115
SIR TOBY BELCH Prithee, hold thy peace; this is not the way: do
you not see you move him? let me alone with
him.		  
FABIAN No way but gentleness; gently, gently: the
fiend is rough, and will not be roughly used.
120
SIR TOBY BELCH Why, how now, my bawcock! how
dost thou, chuck?		  
MALVOLIO Sir!  
SIR TOBY BELCH Ay, Biddy, come with me. What, man! 'tis not
for gravity to play at cherry-pit with Satan: hang
him, foul collier!
125
MARIA Get him to say his prayers, good Sir Toby, get
him to pray.		  
MALVOLIO My prayers, minx!  
MARIA No, I warrant you, he will not hear of
godliness.		 130
MALVOLIO Go, hang yourselves all! you are idle shal-
low things: I am not of your element: you shall
know more hereafter.		  
  [Exit]  
SIR TOBY BELCH Is't possible? 135
FABIAN If this were played upon a stage now, I could
condemn it as an improbable fiction.		  
SIR TOBY BELCH His very genius hath taken the infection of the
device, man.		  
MARIA Nay, pursue him now, lest the device take air
and taint.		 140
FABIAN Why, we shall make him mad indeed.  
MARIA The house will be the quieter.  
SIR TOBY BELCH Come, we'll have him in a dark room and
bound. My niece is already in the belief that he's
mad: we may carry it thus, for our pleasure and his
penance, till our very pastime, tired out of breath,
prompt us to have mercy on him: at which time we
will bring the device to the bar and crown thee for a
finder of madmen. But see, but see.
145




150
  [Enter SIR ANDREW]  
FABIAN More matter for a May morning.  
SIR ANDREW Here's the challenge,
read it: warrant there's vinegar and pepper in't.		  
FABIAN Is't so saucy?  
SIR ANDREW Ay, is't, I warrant him: do but read. 155
SIR TOBY BELCH Give me. [Reads] 'Youth, whatsoever thou art,
thou art but a scurvy fellow.'		  
FABIAN Good, and valiant.  
SIR TOBY BELCH [Reads] 'Wonder not, nor admire not in thy mind,
why I do call thee so, for I will show thee no reason
for't.'
160
FABIAN A good note; that keeps you from the blow of
the law.		  
SIR TOBY BELCH [Reads] 'Thou comest to the lady Olivia, and in my
sight she uses thee kindly: but thou liest in thy throat;
that is not the matter I challenge thee for.'
165
FABIAN Very brief, and to exceeding good sense--less.  
SIR TOBY BELCH [Reads] 'I will waylay thee going home; where if it
be thy chance to kill me,'--		  
FABIAN Good. 170
SIR TOBY BELCH [Reads] 'Thou killest me like a rogue and a villain.'  
FABIAN Still you keep o' the windy side of the law:
good.		  
SIR TOBY BELCH [Reads] 'Fare thee well; and God have mercy upon
one of our souls! He may have mercy upon mine; but
my hope is better, and so look to thyself. Thy friend, as
thou usest him, and thy sworn enemy,
ANDREW AGUECHEEK.
If this letter move him not, his legs cannot: I'll
give't him.
175




180
MARIA You may have very fit occasion for't: he is now
in some commerce with my lady, and will by and
by depart.		  
SIR TOBY BELCH Go, Sir Andrew: scout me for him at the corner
the orchard like a bum-baily: so soon as ever
thou seest him, draw; and, as thou drawest swear
horrible; for it comes to pass oft that a terrible oath,
with a swaggering accent sharply twanged off, gives
manhood more approbation than ever proof itself
would have earned him. Away!
185




190
SIR ANDREW Nay, let me alone for swearing.  
  [Exit]  
SIR TOBY BELCH






Now will not I deliver his letter: for the behavior
of the young gentleman gives him out to be of good
capacity and breeding; his employment between
his lord and my niece confirms no less: therefore
this letter, being so excellently ignorant, will breed
no terror in the youth: he will find it comes from a
clodpole. But, sir, I will deliver his challenge by
word of mouth; set upon Aguecheek a notable
report of valour; and drive the gentleman, as I know
his youth will aptly receive it, into a most hideous
opinion of his rage, skill, fury and impetuosity. This
will so fright them both that they will kill one
another by the look, like cockatrices.


195




200
  [Re-enter OLIVIA, with VIOLA]  
FABIAN Here he comes with your niece: give them
way till he take leave, and presently after him.		 205
SIR TOBY BELCH I will meditate the while upon some horrid
message for a challenge.		  
  [Exeunt SIR TOBY BELCH, FABIAN, and MARIA]  
OLIVIA I have said too much unto a heart of stone
And laid mine honour too unchary out:
There's something in me that reproves my fault;
But such a headstrong potent fault it is,
That it but mocks reproof.
210
VIOLA With the same 'havior that your passion bears
Goes on my master's grief.
215
OLIVIA Here, wear this jewel for me, 'tis my picture;
Refuse it not; it hath no tongue to vex you;
And I beseech you come again to-morrow.
What shall you ask of me that I'll deny,
That honour saved may upon asking give?



220
VIOLA Nothing but this; your true love for my master.  
OLIVIA How with mine honour may I give him that
Which I have given to you?		  
VIOLA I will acquit you.  
OLIVIA Well, come again to-morrow: fare thee well:
A fiend like thee might bear my soul to hell.		 225
  [Exit]  
  [Re-enter SIR TOBY BELCH and FABIAN]  
SIR TOBY BELCH Gentleman, God save thee.  
VIOLA And you, sir.  
SIR TOBY BELCH That defence thou hast, betake thee to't: of what
nature the wrongs are thou hast done him, I know
not; but thy intercepter, full of despite, bloody as
the hunter, attends thee at the orchard-end: dis-
mount thy tuck, be yare in thy preparation, for thy
assailant is quick, skilful and deadly.
230
VIOLA You mistake, sir; I am sure no man hath any
quarrel to me: my remembrance is very free and
clear from any image of offence done to any man.		 235
SIR TOBY BELCH You'll find it otherwise, I assure you: therefore,
if you hold your life at any price, betake you to your
guard; for your opposite hath in him what youth,
strength, skill and wrath can furnish man withal.

240
VIOLA I pray you, sir, what is he?  
SIR TOBY BELCH

He is knight, dubbed with unhatched rapier and
on carpet consideration; but he is a devil in private
brawl: souls and bodies hath he divorced three; and
his incensement at this moment is so implacable,
that satisfaction can be none but by pangs of death
and sepulchre. Hob, nob, is his word; give't or
take't.

245
VIOLA

I will return again into the house and desire
some conduct of the lady. I am no fighter. I have
heard of some kind of men that put quarrels pur-
posely on others, to taste their valour: belike this is a
man of that quirk.		 250
SIR TOBY BELCH

Sir, no; his indignation derives itself out of a very
competent injury: therefore, get you on and give
him his desire. Back you shall not to the house,
unless you undertake that with me which with as
much safety you might answer him: therefore, on,
or strip your sword stark naked; for meddle you
must, that's certain, or forswear to wear iron about
you.		 255




260
VIOLA This is as uncivil as strange. I beseech you, do
me this courteous office, as to know of the knight
what my offence to him is: it is something of my
negligence, nothing of my purpose.

265
SIR TOBY BELCH I will do so. Signior Fabian, stay you by this
gentleman till my return.		  
  [Exit]  
VIOLA Pray you, sir, do you know of this matter?  
FABIAN I know the knight is incensed against you, even
to a mortal arbitrement; but nothing of the circum-
stance more.		 270
VIOLA I beseech you, what manner of man is he?  
FABIAN

Nothing of that wonderful promise, to read
him by his form, as you are like to find him in the
proof of his valour. He is, indeed, sir, the most skilful,
bloody and fatal opposite that you could possibly
have found in any part of Illyria. Will you walk
towards him? I will make your peace with him if I
can.
275




280
VIOLA I shall be much bound to you for't: I am one
that had rather go with sir priest than sir knight: I
care not who knows so much of my mettle.		  
  [Exeunt]  
  [Re-enter SIR TOBY BELCH, with SIR ANDREW]  
SIR TOBY BELCH

Why, man, he's a very devil; I have not seen such
a firago. I had a pass with him, rapier, scabbard
and all, and he gives me the stuck in with such
a mortal motion, that it is inevitable; and on the
answer, he pays you as surely as your feet hit the
ground they step on. They say he has been fencer
to the Sophy.
285




290
SIR ANDREW Pox on't, I'll not meddle with him.  
SIR TOBY BELCH Ay, but he will not now be pacified: Fabian can
scarce hold him yonder.		  
SIR ANDREW Plague on't, an I thought he had been
valiant and so cunning in fence, I'ld have seen him
damned ere I'ld have challenged him. Let him let
the matter slip, and I'll give him my horse, grey
Capilet.
295
SIR TOBY BELCH I'll make the motion: stand here, make a good show
on't: this shall end without the perdition of
souls. [Aside] Marry, I'll ride your horse as well as I
ride you.
300
  [Re-enter FABIAN and VIOLA]  
  [To FABIAN]  
  I have his horse to take up the
quarrel: I have persuaded him the youth's a devil.		  
FABIAN He is as horribly conceited of
him; and pants and looks pale, as if a bear were at his
heels.		 305
SIR TOBY BELCH [To VIOLA] There's no remedy, sir; he will fight
with you for's oath sake: marry, he hath better
bethought him of his quarrel, and he finds that now
scarce to be worth talking of: therefore draw, for
the supportance of his vow; he protests he will not
hurt you.

310
VIOLA [Aside] Pray God defend me! A little thing
would make me tell them how much I lack of a
man.
315
FABIAN Give ground, if you see him furious.  
SIR TOBY BELCH Come, Sir Andrew, there's no remedy; the
gentleman will, for his honour's sake, have one bout
with you; he cannot by the duello avoid it: but he
has promised me, as he is a gentleman and a soldier,
he will not hurt you. Come on; to't.

320
SIR ANDREW Pray God, he keep his
oath!		  
VIOLA I do assure you, 'tis against my will. 325
  [They draw]  
  [Enter ANTONIO]  
ANTONIO Put up your sword. If this young gentleman
Have done offence, I take the fault on me:
If you offend him, I for him defy you.		  
SIR TOBY BELCH You, sir! why, what are you?  
ANTONIO One, sir, that for his love dares yet do more
Than you have heard him brag to you he will.		 330
SIR TOBY BELCH Nay, if you be an undertaker, I am for you.  
  [They draw]  
  [Enter Officers]  
FABIAN O good Sir Toby, hold! here come the officers.  
SIR TOBY BELCH I'll be with you anon.  
VIOLA Pray, sir, put your sword up, if
you please.		 335
SIR ANDREW Marry, will I, sir; and, for that I promised
you, I'll be as good as my word: he will bear you
easily and reins well.		  
First Officer This is the man; do thy office. 340
Second Officer Antonio, I arrest thee at the suit of
Count Orsino.		  
ANTONIO You do mistake me, sir.  
First Officer No, sir, no jot; I know your favour well,
Though now you have no sea-cap on your head.
Take him away: he knows I know him well.
345
ANTONIO I must obey. [To VIOLA]  This comes with seeking
you:
But there's no remedy; I shall answer it.
What will you do, now my necessity
Makes me to ask you for my purse? It grieves me
Much more for what I cannot do for you
Than what befalls myself. You stand amazed;
But be of comfort.


350
Second Officer Come, sir, away. 355
ANTONIO I must entreat of you some of that money.  
VIOLA



What money, sir?
For the fair kindness you have show'd me here,
And, part, being prompted by your present trouble,
Out of my lean and low ability
I'll lend you something: my having is not much;
I'll make division of my present with you:
Hold, there's half my coffer.


360
ANTONIO

Will you deny me now?
Is't possible that my deserts to you
Can lack persuasion? Do not tempt my misery,
Lest that it make me so unsound a man
As to upbraid you with those kindnesses
That I have done for you.
365
VIOLA

I know of none;
Nor know I you by voice or any feature:
I hate ingratitude more in a man
Than lying, vainness, babbling, drunkenness,
Or any taint of vice whose strong corruption
Inhabits our frail blood.		 370




375
ANTONIO O heavens themselves!  
Second Officer Come, sir, I pray you, go.  
ANTONIO Let me speak a little. This youth that you see here
I snatch'd one half out of the jaws of death,
Relieved him with such sanctity of love,
And to his image, which methought did promise
Most venerable worth, did I devotion.

380
First Officer What's that to us? The time goes by: away!  
ANTONIO

But O how vile an idol proves this god
Thou hast, Sebastian, done good feature shame.
In nature there's no blemish but the mind;
None can be call'd deform'd but the unkind:
Virtue is beauty, but the beauteous evil
Are empty trunks o'erflourish'd by the devil.
385
First Officer The man grows mad: away with him! Come,
come, sir.		 390
ANTONIO Lead me on.  
  [Exit with Officers]  
VIOLA Methinks his words do from such passion fly,
That he believes himself: so do not I.
Prove true, imagination, O, prove true,
That I, dear brother, be now ta'en for you!

395
SIR TOBY BELCH Come hither, knight; come hither, Fabian: we'll
whisper o'er a couplet or two of most sage saws.		  
VIOLA

He named Sebastian: I my brother know
Yet living in my glass; even such and so
In favour was my brother, and he went
Still in this fashion, colour, ornament,
For him I imitate: O, if it prove,
Tempests are kind and salt waves fresh in love.
400
  [Exit]  
SIR TOBY BELCH A very dishonest paltry boy, and more a coward
than a hare: his dishonesty appears in leaving his
friend here in necessity and denying him; and for
his cowardship, ask Fabian.		 405
FABIAN A coward, a most devout coward, religious
in it.
410
SIR ANDREW 'Slid, I'll after him again and beat him.  
SIR TOBY BELCH Do; cuff him soundly, but never draw thy
sword.		  
SIR ANDREW An I do not,--  
FABIAN Come, let's see the event. 415
SIR TOBY BELCH I dare lay any money 'twill be nothing yet.  
  [Exeunt]