|
EDUCATION / HUMOR / GRAFFITI / DEEP THOUGHTS
My Favorite Quotes: Humor
What's another word for "thesaurus"?
– Steven Wright
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
– Steven Wright
HOW TIRED I FEEL! I understood so much today.
– Ashleigh Brilliant
Sometimes I make a mental note, but then forget where I put it.
– Ashleigh Brilliant
I love information---what I don't like is having to do something with it.
– Ashleigh Brilliant
The President of today is just the postage stamp of tomorrow.
– attributed to Gracie Allen
I couldn't be out of money. I still have checks.
– attributed to Gracie Allen
I always have a quotation for everything. It saves original thinking.
– Dorothy L. Sayers
I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end.
– Margaret Thatcher
Next week there can't be any crisis. My schedule is already full.
– Henry Kissinger
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
– Erma Bombeck
If I had been present at creation, I would have given some useful hints.
– Alfonso the Wise
The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
– Paul Fix
Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.
– Ogden Nash
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
– e e cummings
To get back on your feet, miss two car payments.
– Unknown
I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks.
– Totie Fields