Frasier show # 1014
Daphne Does Dinner
 
(Single-column drama script)
 
 
Scene 3 - Café Nervosa
 
[Fade in. Frasier is sitting at a table, writing. Niles comes in and
joins him.]
 
Frasier:
Oh, Niles, Niles, thank goodness you're here! I am simply
percolating with party ideas.
 
Niles: 
Uh...
 
Frasier: 
Listen, have you thought of inviting the artist himself? He
lives in town, you know.
 
Niles: 
Yes, I extended an invitation through his gallery, but he
declined.
 
Frasier: 
Oh. That's too bad.  Well then, I have come up with the
perfect entertainment for our little art crowd. It's a
radical tableau vivant troupe.
 
[Niles stares at him.]
 
Frasier: 
I don't know. But they do provide smocks and shower caps,
so we're covered.
 
Niles: 
 Frasier, Daphne and I are throwing the party.
 
[Frasier looks at him, then back to his notes, fidgeting.]
 
Frasier: 
Daphne? Well. Fine, suit yourself. It's your painting.
I suppose I could just whip up my signature dish.
Niles: Daphne's handling the food.
 
[Frasier glowers at him.]
 
Frasier: 
Lovely. So you'll be serving those sad brown chunks that
make their way from plate to napkin, bypassing mouth
completely.
Niles:
 It's called Piccadilly Beef, and I talked her out of it, thank
God. The whole thing's being catered. We're having Cornish
game hens, wild rice stuffing, wonderful sides and all heat-
and-serve.
 
[Frasier puts his notepad away in his briefcase.]
 
Frasier: Stuffin'. Lovely.
 
Niles: 
 I think you'd be happy to be just a guest, for once.
 
Frasier:
 "Just a guest"! In my brother's home. [rising] You know,
I've never been just a guest before. Before, I always felt
like family.
 
[He puts his coat on as Daphne comes in.]
 
Frasier: 
Oh look! Here she is now: the hostess with the mostest.
 
[Niles stands up, looking irritated.]
 
Daphne: 
I see Niles told you.
 
Frasier: 
Yes. I'm sorry, I won't be attending your debut soiree,
Daphne. I hope that doesn't upset your seating plan.
 
Daphne: 
It's going to be a buffet.
 
[Frasier looks horrified.]
 
Frasier: Buffet!
 
[He rolls his eyes as he reaches for his briefcase.]
 
Frasier: 
Well, if you should need any help, I think you know my phone
number.
 
[He heads out.]
 
Niles: 
 Number three on our speed dial.
 
[Frasier pauses at the door and turns to give them a dour look.]
 
Frasier: 
 Number three. Interesting.
[He heads out the door as Daphne tries to reassure Niles. Fade out.]